Back in the dark ages of online dating (five years ago), you wouldn't think of doing background checks on potential suitors, but boy, have times changed. I was widowed last year (lost my beloved to prostate cancer and leukemia); this year I put myself back on the market. And I decided to join a background check service - very economical at 8 bucks a month. It paid off big time after a Friday night meet-and-greet date.
The guy - I will call him "Peter" - was affable and personal enough. Funny. Witty. Gentleman. Opens doors. Hands on the small of the back thing. Good listener. He supposedly had been in the military - special forces, or something like that. (I'm sitting there, munching on my taco, thinking, "shit, this guy has killed people.") And he claimed to have consulted on a blockbuster war movie in which his part was played by an actor. All very interesting. Okay, I liked him and told him, sure, I'd go out with him again.
The next day, I ran my background check on "Peter." (I routinely do this before or after a first date.) HOLY COW! Seven convictions for family violence! Scary stuff! Ewe! Needlesss to say, no second date would be forthcoming. I immediately texted all my close single girlfriends, advising them to join a background checking service.
The whole military story was bugging me too ... I found this guy's profile on LinkedIn and read his business profile. There's no way he could have been serving our country; he was working for a business consulting firm when he said he was in the military! And as for the movie, and being played by an actor, all untrue. I researched the movie. I could never find his name anywhere connected with it.
Okay ... yes, I put a lot of investigative energy in this, but it was a real eye opener. I had a date with a true pathological liar. If it weren't so crazy, it would be downright funny. Well, it is in a way.
The moral of the story is: be a dating detective. You don't want to get into a bad scene!
By the way, I love dating. It's fun and I've met some great guys. I'm very upbeat about online dating and all sorts of dating. I believe in having a positive attitude about the dating scene, because if you're positive, you'll get positive experiences back. Even the date with the liar was positive; I learned that you can't be too careful ... plus, I have a hilarious story to tell my girlfriends!
Has anyone out there had a similar experience? Let's share!
Until next time,
The Dating Widow
