MAN MANAGEMENT

My nieces are in their 20s and fond of asking me advice on dealing with men. I love men ... I am thankful for men ... and I celebrate men. Even so, there are some things to keep in mind as you deal with them. Here is what I have shared with my nieces ... it may help you!

Make sure he loves you a little more than you love him. (this is hard especially early in a relationship but very important nonetheless)
After the first 6 to 8 weeks of courtship, expect a man's listening skills to turn off completely.
Never fight with a man; it is a losing battle. Just say "ouch" and leave it at that.
Never cook for a man early in a relationship. He will think you are trying to get him to the altar. Only cook if he asks you to.
Never be the first to say I love you. Let him say it first.
Hold off on sex until you feel you are in a committed loving relationship.
Men are romantic only sporadically. Don't expect romantic behavior all the time.
Men can be critical. Just say "ouch" or ignore it, and just realize they are doing it out of some insecurity they have. It is not about you.
Men can be expressionless, or whatever. If you love him, you have to accept this. Love is about acceptance, not change.
Men make horrible patients. They are unlovable when sick. Just know this and deal with it.
Men are basically 6 year olds. When they frustrate or anger you, just picture them as 6 year olds throwing a tantrum.
When he does something that is inappropriate, you must calmly call it to his attention and tell him that it is unacceptable. For example: "I know that it is not your intention to hurt me when you act like that, but your behavior makes me feel devalues. It is not okay to act like that." Keep your admonition short and sweet. Don't go on and on.
Men love to talk about their past, whereas women are more present and future focused. When they talk about ex-loves, all you need to know is: why did it break up? Use the answer to understand your man and what he doesn't like.
Men will embellish their past too. Usually they will make it sound like they were the ones doing the break-ups. Hardly ever true, though. Statistically, it is us women who break things off.
When you've heard enough about their past, simply agree to not talk about the past anymore. Make it a boundary of your relationship. (This advice about men talking about their past is more relevant to older women and older men who all have a history, but be aware of it as you go through life.)
Men get jealous easily and all on their own ... if you try to make them jealous, they know it.
If he really angers you, go to your special "zone." Work on a project ... create a vision for the future you can control ... have fun with friends ... but never, ever, let a man intrude on or shatter your self-esteem.
Don't let your giving exceed his ... it should be equal or he should give a little more than you give. This is tough because women are givers and nurturers. Follow the advice of my late husband: Always let them come to you. An easy way to do this is to simply let him say "I love you" more than you say it.
Even in a committed relationship, keep the chase alive. Men are hunters .... create a relationship in which they are always wanting you.
Be sexy ... dress sexy ... this is more important than you might think. Men want sexy women, period. Buy clothes from greatglam.com, yandy.com, forplaycatalog.com, etc. They clothes are cheap but well designed, and very sexy. Men love this.

That is the knowledge of 50 years of dealing with men (and some difficult ones) - so I hope it is useful.